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Oct 26, 2008 8:58:13 GMT -5
Post by Pepper x on Oct 26, 2008 8:58:13 GMT -5
The bay vixen, Enternal Love trotted into the land. She flicked her ribbon and shook her straight mane. Her bay pelt glistened as she moved in the sunlight, she walked to the lake, every stride she took was long and springy, her mane bounced and her banner streamed in the light breeze. She picked up to a extended trot, she came to a halt when she reached the lake. The dove lowered her elegant cranium to the cool water, she touched her muzzle in it and then drank the refreshing crystal water. She put some in her mouth then lifted her tiara and splashed the water over her back, cooling herself down. She nickered softly then walked a little from the lake to lush green grass, the fae was in heat and her sweet aroma filled the air around her. Love gave a loud whinny before lowering her crown and sniffed the poppies. She smiled then turned to the grass and teared the blades up from their roots and munched on them contently.
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Oct 26, 2008 9:06:52 GMT -5
Post by D.eath on Oct 26, 2008 9:06:52 GMT -5
First of all Pepper you can put at the start and end size=1 and blockquote. [blockquote][/blockquote][size=1][/size]
Right, and then you need to discribe what shes doing, thoughts, feelings and smells and other stuff you can think of. The best thing to do is to listen to some music and then it really gets some muse up!
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offtheheezay
Hostile
And Sweetie, i've got to say that I'm really not worth the time of your day. <3
Posts: 15
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Oct 26, 2008 9:32:24 GMT -5
Post by offtheheezay on Oct 26, 2008 9:32:24 GMT -5
since i got nothing to do i thought i'd help ;D in black it'll be what you wrote, and in red, what you should do (:
The bay vixen, Enternal Love trotted into the land. [What does the land look like? Whats the weather like?] She flicked her ribbon and shook her straight mane. [What sort of movement is it like? ect. a flag, banner. is it flowing? say anything ;D] Her bay pelt glistened as she moved in the sunlight, [add something like... "she stood out among the green terrain.] she walked to the lake, every stride she took was long and springy, her mane bounced and her banner streamed in the light breeze. [thats good (: what was she walking on? what was happening as she was walking? did anything come into sight?] She picked up to a extended trot, [Say how she done it, how fast was she going. Was it bouncy? Was her strides long? Did she strech out her neck? What did she look like?] she came to a halt when she reached the lake. The dove lowered her elegant cranium to the cool water, she touched her muzzle in it and then drank the refreshing crystal water. [Thats good! Now what did it taste like? Was it cooling? How did it feel in her mouth? Nice use of words ;D] She put some in her mouth then lifted her tiara and splashed the water over her back, cooling herself down. [Did it refresh her in any way? Did her body heat cool down? How did it feel?] She nickered softly then walked a little from the lake to lush green grass, the fae was in heat and her sweet aroma filled the air around her. [Does she want a stallion? How does she feel about being in heat?] Love gave a loud whinny before lowering her crown and sniffed the poppies. [How did they look? What did they smell like? Smell good? Bad? Did they remind her of anything special?] She smiled then turned to the grass and teared the blades up from their roots and munched on them contently. [How did they taste? Did she enjoy eating them? What was she thinking?]
I hoped this helped you (:
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Oct 26, 2008 9:58:41 GMT -5
Post by Pepper x on Oct 26, 2008 9:58:41 GMT -5
The bay vixen, Enternal Love trotted into the land. It was a sight she had never seen before, green grass, waterfalls and a blue sky all around. She flicked her ribbon like a flag and shook her straight mane so it flowed. Her bay pelt glistened as she moved in the sunlight, Love stood out from the rest of the terrain. She walked to the lake, every stride she took was long and springy, her mane bounced and her banner streamed in the light breeze. The surface the mare was walking on was hard from the dirt yet soft from the grass. Love spotted a wolf by the tree in the distance but it was just dragging its prey back to its home. She jumped into an extended trot, neck arched and strides long and soundless. She came to a halt when she reached the lake. The dove lowered her elegant cranium to the cool water, she touched her muzzle in it and then drank the refreshing crystal water. It gave her a cool refreshing feeling, making her body cool down immediatley. She put some in her mouth then lifted her tiara and splashed the water over her back, cooling herself down. She nickered softly then walked a little from the lake to lush green grass, the fae was in heat and her sweet aroma filled the air around her. She really wanted a foal this year now that she was old enough, she smiled at the thought of a foal or two running around her. Love gave a loud whinny before lowering her crown and sniffed the poppies. They smelt so sweet, they reminded her of her first home. She smiled then turned to the grass and teared the blades up from their roots and munched on them contently. Is a stallion going to come? should i whinny again, no that could make me look like i am desperate She thought, she snorted and lay down to roll. A cold breeze swept through her coat as she rolled, a shiver was sent up her spine giving her a tingling sensation. She stood up and shook, she threw her head up and looked around. [/blockquote]
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offtheheezay
Hostile
And Sweetie, i've got to say that I'm really not worth the time of your day. <3
Posts: 15
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Oct 26, 2008 10:02:59 GMT -5
Post by offtheheezay on Oct 26, 2008 10:02:59 GMT -5
Thats much better! Keep at it, and when you have alot of muse you'll be writing alot more! Just make sure you do something like this every time you post (: Describe everything you write, add thoughts and anything you can (: And as D.eath said, music helps. You might even be able to fit some lyrics in there (: Keep up the work!
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Oct 26, 2008 10:04:03 GMT -5
Post by Pepper x on Oct 26, 2008 10:04:03 GMT -5
lol k *wanders of to make horse*
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Oct 26, 2008 10:04:47 GMT -5
Post by D.eath on Oct 26, 2008 10:04:47 GMT -5
Yes, that was really good. If you write a little bit of writing and the person doesn't reply and you have loads of muse, add more onto the post. I once has 4 sentences and then suddenly 1,024 words!! Really good
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